


Alternative Survival Methods

by RedVelvetLadybug



Category: RWBY
Genre: Faunus!Weiss, Gen, Great Weiss Shark AU, nb!blake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedVelvetLadybug/pseuds/RedVelvetLadybug
Summary: While out on a hunting mission Team RWBY learns that Weiss' shark faunus traits have some conveniently practical applications.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spudato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spudato/gifts).



“Of all the things we remembered to bring for this mission-- We even thought to bring sunscreen! But nooo, we had to forget to bring a damn can opener for our MREs, which, ya know, comes in cans.” Yang huffed from across the warm fire pit the team had gathered around for what was supposed to be dinner. She crossed her arms over her chest and grimaced at her growing hunger. 

Blake gave Yang a knowing, accusatory look. “You do know that we have other rations, right? They don’t only come in cans and you know it.” They then reached for the travel bag that held the food in question and rummaged around inside before pulling out a vacuum sealed package. “Look here, we have.. uh.. ‘Freeze Dried Strawberries’ “ Ruby looked horrified and offended at that. “Okay, maybe not that one” They pulled a few more out and read the labels with growing concern for whoever decided these things were edible. “I now understand Yang, I understand why we’ve never tried these” Blake had to choke back bile at the thought. 

Yang had the gall to look smug even though the four of them still didn’t have a solution to their hunger problem. Blake glared back at her, Yang looked even more amused. _I will fight you in the streets Yang. Don’t think I won’t._

During this exchange, Weiss, who had been laying on her sleeping bag and just silently watching everyone be dumb, decided to get up and do something about it instead of bickering. She paused when Ruby finally spoke up to add her own take. “I could try and use crescent rose to open the cans!” She hopped up to her feet with said sniper-scythe in arms but Yang and Blake both scrambled to attention first blocking her path. “Ruby no, no” “You are so not destroying our food sis”

 

**Shnk.  
Screeeenk.  
Pop. **

 

The three of them stopped dead in what they were doing and turned toward the odd metallic sound they just heard. 

“Weiss?” Ruby hesitantly asked. Weiss turned away from the rations bag toward them, holding an open can of soup and smiling a sharp, toothy smile only the shark faunus in question could accomplish. 

“Open sesame.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the result of no sleep and lots of free time. Aka a trainwreck. Good luck.

“Weiss did you just open that can with your mouth? Ruby asked, dumbstruck, and maybe a little awed at the prospect that her partner can shear through tin metal with her teeth. 

“Were you going to tell us you could do that or just watch us suffer from hunger?” Blake admonished, clearly unimpressed at their girlfriend’s antics. 

“Well I just found out I could do it right now, honestly you should be bowing before my superior improvisation skills” Weiss harrumphed disdainfully. 

“Really Weiss? You just bit into a can of soup on a whim? Really?” If Blake could look even more unimpressed than they do right now someone would have to take a picture for proof that it was even possible. 

Wow, Blake. That's kinda hot. Stupid hot. These thoughts are not helping. Yang shook her head and walked over to Weiss, silently asking for the open can before taking it back to the fire to cook like nothing happened. Ruby doesn't know what's going on anymore but hey, hot food! That's all that matters here. She and Yang both turned at the sudden sounds of Blake struggling and their eyes became glued to the commotion, soup forgotten. 

“Weiss! No Weiss! Give me that! Give. me. the. can. Weiss” Blake growled and became engaged in a game of keep away with their shorter, white counterpart which grew more heated and aggressive by the moment until-- “Did you just bite me?! You little shit!” “Oh please, you like it!” Weiss interjected before being tackled to the ground. 

“Can you two not get frisky right in front of us? Ruby’s like twelve and highly impressionable” 

“Yang!”

 

Professor Glynda Goodwitch walked around to the seat of her desk in her office with an imposing stride of sternness before sitting down, taking a deep breath and looking forward at the four students sitting in chairs in front of her. Surprisingly not Team JNPR for once, a meager break from their lack of self control if considered to be one. She did not envy Lie Ren as the only sensible one on that team.No, this time it was Team RWBY situated in her office to be dealt with for misconduct. Arguably better or worse, but all the same, a headache. 

“Would you four care to explain why you failed your mission to engage and disable a beowulf pack migration? One that, might I remind you, would have prevented an influx of Grimm attacks at the northeast Vale border”

Ruby, the leader, and by default most nervous about this spoke up first. “Uhm, well you see professor.. Weiss did it!” She exclaimed and pointed at her partner dramatically. Weiss of course looked highly offended but also unjustly accused. “Uh uh, nope, I'm not taking the blame for Blake's part in the sabotage of our food supply and camp site, which was also Yang's fault for your information.” 

“Okay fair” Yang added sheepishly. “But you still started it” 

“By what, being helpful and not letting you starve? As if!” 

“Yeahhh but we still didn't get to eat because the campfire exploded guys” 

“Thanks sis, totally helping our case” 

Blake sighed deeply. “Alright professor it went like this…”

 

Them and Weiss were still wrestling on the ground by the food bag, the can they were initially fighting over having been forgotten after being tossed aside. It really wasn't going anywhere and it was tiring by now but Weiss is Weiss, aka a little shit and needs to be taught a lesson in manners. 

Ruby was sat down on her sleeping bag and tucking in Crescent Rose goodnight. She's weird like that While Yang was back to focusing on the soup cooking over the fire, it didn't smell all too good but it was better than the vacuum sealed abominations that they're totally going to stop packing for missions after this. 

Blake had Weiss in a headlock now at what was to be the peak of their dramatics. Weiss looked like she was trying to say with her eyes 'choke harder’ and maybe they would have if they didn't have company

 

Professor Goodwitch grimaced and ahem’ed. “Is there a particular reason you needed to tell me about your bedroom activities, Mx Belladonna?” 

Realizing their slip up, they blushed as bright as they could. “Uh.. that is… oops?”

Weiss facepalmed loud enough to draw attention. 

“A-anyway, where was I?”

 

[Redacted] and [Also Redacted] happened and Blake and Weiss both learned our lessons after Yang gave a scathing lecture about public decency all the while Ruby was bright red as her cloak and highly scandalized by it all. She's less innocent now than before this mission happened. 

Yang was distracted from the fire now and that's when things really went bad because there was a burning smell and you really shouldn't let cooking go unattended and the little camping pot we had basically erupted with over boiling soup and some of got on Yang which looked ouch for sure and the rest spilled into the fire. The fire reacted dangerously and the fire spread from the confines of the rock circle around it and ignited our sleeping bags. Ruby shrieked and grabbed for Crescent Rose like it was her flesh and blood baby trapped in a burning sleeping bag instead of a deadly weapon. 

Yang was kicking dirt into the blaze frantically and trying to pull our gear away from it before it too could catch fire and Weiss and I were trying to douse it with our supply of water which quickly ran out and by the time we were all clear of danger we'd lost most of our stuff.

 

“And so, to sum up our failure; We were aggravated and exhausted by the morning and we were too much of a mess to get anything useful done about the grimm. The end.” 

“At least now we know we don't have to worry about can-openers anymore!” 

“Very helpful, Ruby” 

Glynda desperately wished for some time off.


End file.
